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Gnome Country for Old Men: A 5e Heist

Gnome Country for Old Men: A 5e Heist

Dungeons & Dragons 5e on Discord, Google Hangouts, Theater of the Mind

Price per player-session

You will be charged when a session starts



  • Duration: 2 to 3 hours

  • Number of players: 2 to 6 players

  • Experience required: None

Price per player-session

About the adventure

Play as a team of vengeful gnomes at the desert temple of an ancient order - and go wild! Choose your starting gear, get a secret goal, and earn points for yourself and your team by causing havoc in any way you can imagine! This is a freeform sandbox "demolition derby" style game, where the only goals are the ones you set for yourself - and the secret objective you get at the start of the session! Destroy their sanctum, loot their coffers, infiltrate their ranks, kill their leaders - or turn on each other! This is a fantasy one-shot for 3rd-through-5th-level characters, at least a few of whom are gnomes.

3 years on StartPlaying

Additional Details

How to prepare

Webcam, mic, and dice (real or virtual) please! Digital copies of your character sheet are fine.

What I provide

I'll bring my prep sheets! There'll be no combat grid to worry about; this is pure theater of the mind!

Gameplay details

You'll start outside a temple of peaceful acolytes, which 100 years ago was involved in a war against the gnomes of this land. You'll get a set amount of gold to spend on additional starting gear (like a Scroll of Spider Climb, a bag of caltrops, or a very tall trenchcoat) and a secret objective that only you know From then on, it's up to you - the initiates are holding trials today, where aspirants can come and join their ranks, and the walled gardens of their temple are ripe for the plunder! You can build a plan, rush right in, or do whatever your little gnome hearts desire - just make them pay for what they did! Everything you can steal, break, sabotage, or kill is worth points, which you and your team earn as you cause chaos. There are also "easter eggs," secret actions that award bonus points. Finally, your individual secret goal is worth 30 points. The goal is to score as many points as possible for yourself and your team. The point system allows for a sandbox-style environment without fear of stagnation or aimlessness - as long as you can push a vase off of a table, you can earn points and help your party succeed.

Content warnings


Safety tools used


How will character creation work

3rd, 4th, or 5th-level characters, gnomes if possible. You can make your own character, or I can make it for you. Email me at if you'd like me to whip something up; making characters is a passion of mine!

Players can expect

  • Combat/Tactics: Medium
  • Roleplay: Medium
  • Puzzles: Low
  • Experience Level: None

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