And in this house, Christopher Columbus is a hero! End of story!
It’s Columbus Day in Jersey. The Boss is laid up, New York is circling, the Feds are watching . . . and somebody better keep the parade on track.
TYPE
SYSTEM
LANGUAGE
EXPERIENCE
AGE
Free
Details
2 players following this game
Once / Wednesday - 12:30 AM UTC
Nov 4
Session Duration / 3 hours
3 / 5 Seats Filled
Top Game Master
One of StartPlaying's top-rated GMs, a player favorite and highly recommended.
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Schedule
Meet your party members
3/5
About the adventure
It’s Columbus Day in Jersey, the Boss is laid up, and the family business ain’t gonna run itself. New York is making moves. The Feds are sniffing around. Somebody’s relative is causing agita. And on top of all that, the Columbus Day celebration better go off without a hitch, because appearances matter. Cold Cuts & Melancholy is a fast, rules-light Lasers & Feelings hack about wiseguys juggling business, family, loyalty, ego, and the slow realization that none of this is making anybody happy. Expect dark comedy, bad decisions, bruised feelings, questionable judgment, and people getting their balls busted from every direction. We make the Crew together, then we get down to business.
Game style
Combat Lite
Roleplay Heavy
Rule of Cool (RoC)
Sandbox / Open World
Theater of the Mind
Game themes
Meet the Game Master
5.0
(29)
3 years on StartPlaying
280 games hosted
Highly rated for: Creativity, Beginner Friendly, Rule of Cool
Average response time: 2 hours
Response rate: 100%
About me
Collaborating with players to create background and backstory is what I enjoy most. Creating a great character-driven narrative that we will tell for years is my goal. My preference is for RPG systems that support the story and also allow for players to have the option to succeed at a cost, driving the story to a climactic finish where all those checks must be paid. RPGs work best when it's like a jazz ensemble, where the whole group plays together most of the time but everyone gets a chance to step forward for their solo from time to time. I'm available for a custom session or campaign. I can put together a quality one-shot in a few days if it's a system on my list. If it’s not on my list, it may be similar to something I already know, so please feel free to ask anyway.
View Profile →Character creation
Creating your character
### Get Made Before the business starts, we make the Crew. Cold Cuts & Melancholy keeps it quick: choose your Style, pick your Role in the family, decide what you want, what’s eating at you, and what everybody calls you when your mother ain’t around. A few minutes later, you’re dressed, armed, connected, and ready to handle whatever Jersey throws at you. Just remember: everybody’s got a role, everybody’s got a problem, and somebody’s always busting your balls.
What to expect
Preparing for the session
### What You Need to Bring You don’t need a rulebook, a character sheet, or a briefcase full of cash. We handle the paperwork when you get here. You will need free Discord and Roll20 accounts. We’re playing by voice, so bring a working microphone and headphones. Cameras are optional. No reason to give the Feds any more pictures than they already got. Other than that, show up ready to play the part, bust some balls, make questionable decisions, and look after the family. That’s it. We take care of the rest.
What Ukulele Mike brings to the table
### What I Bring to the Table I got the room, the paperwork, and the connections. You’ll get a fully prepared Roll20 table, Discord voice, character sheets, handouts, visual aids, and everything else we need to get down to business. I’ll walk everybody through the rules, keep the action moving, and make sure nobody gets left sitting in the corner while somebody else hogs the spotlight. We’ll also use my usual table safety tools—Lines & Veils, the X-Card, Open Door, breaks, and Stars & Wishes—because even made guys got standards. You bring the attitude. I’ll handle the rest. And if anything goes wrong? Forget about it.
Equipment needed to play
Internet
Computer
Microphone
Platforms used
Safety
How Ukulele Mike creates a safe table
Everybody Goes Home Happy We’re here to have a good time, not make anybody regret showing up. Before we get down to business, we’ll establish **Lines & Veils** so everybody knows what stays off the table and what stays behind closed doors. The X-Card is always available if something needs to stop right now . . . no explanations, no arguments, no sit-down required. The Open Door is always in effect. Step away, take a break, or leave the session if you need to. Nobody’s gonna lean on you about it. We’ll take breaks during the game, and at the end we’ll do Stars & Wishes so everybody can say what worked and what they’d like to see next time. Respect the Crew, respect the boundaries, and don’t be a jerk. Capisce?
Content warnings
Safety tools used