Whodunnit: Lady Ramkin's Sunshine Sanctuary for Sick Dragons

How to prepare

Welcome to the streets of Ankh-Morpork, where "preparation" is just another word for “winging it in style.” Here's how to almost get ready for a Discworld adventure: 1. Understand the Rules (Which Nobody Does) Actually, forget that. It’s much easier to just pretend you know the rules, which is what everyone else does. 2. Pack Your Imagination. And an Umbrella Ankh-Morpork’s weather is unpredictable. It might rain, flood, or snow. But then again, it might not. What’s truly unpredictable are the players. So pack for every eventuality: sudden dragon fire, magical mishaps, or that time Rincewind accidentally summoned a swarm of very angry chickens. Basically, be prepared for nothing to go as planned. 3. Familiarize Yourself with Local Cuisine (Or Just Avoid It) Be aware that food in Ankh-Morpork is often a mystery, in both content and origin. Sausage-inna-bun? Don’t ask too many questions. For immersive roleplay, your character may occasionally find themselves in need of a very strong stomach - especially if Nobby is cooking. 4. Sharpen Your Wit (More Useful Than a Sword Here) The most powerful weapon in Discworld isn’t steel - it’s sarcasm. Practice your one-liners, puns, and quick retorts because in this world, outsmarting your foes (or at least confusing them) is often the best defense. And if all else fails, make sure your character has an escape plan. Or, you know, just run. 5. Expect the Unexpected (And Be Ready to Laugh About It) If there’s one certainty on the Disc, it’s that certainty doesn’t exist. Whether you’re trying to stop a crime or accidentally starting one, your plans are about as reliable as a wizard’s spellbook. Embrace the chaos, roll with the punches, and remember - half the fun is seeing just how spectacularly things can go wrong.

What I provide

Step with me into the absurd, delightful chaos that is Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld universe, where logic takes a holiday and common sense rarely shows up to work. As the Game Master, I'm not just spinning a yarn. I'm guiding my players through a world balanced on the backs of four elephants standing on a giant turtle, where magic is real (but usually causes more problems than it solves), and even the city guards are too clever for their own good.

Gameplay details

Official Memo from The Patrician’s Office: No Need to Panic (Mostly) Esteemed members of the City Watch (and other assorted riffraff), It has come to our attention that in some tabletop roleplaying games, the players use Safety Tools - rules and guidelines to ensure everyone feels comfortable at the table. But let’s be honest, this is Ankh-Morpork. Comfort is for people who live in other cities. Here, we thrive on unpredictability, sarcasm, and the occasional runaway cart of cabbages. That said, we’re here to assure you that this session will be perfectly safe (by Discworld standards, which is to say: not very). No, there won't be any sensitive subject matter that would make Granny Weatherwax raise an eyebrow (or even worse, two eyebrows). Well, except for the odd bit of violence, but let’s face it, you're in the Watch. Violence is practically in the job description, right up there with “being sarcastic to criminals.” The one safety precaution we suggest? Maybe avoid getting too attached to your character’s nose. Or knees. They tend to attract crossbows, errant spells, and occasionally the affection of small dragons. Other than that, the only thing at risk is your dignity - oh, and maybe your ability to keep a straight face. In short, this game is all about fun, wit, and the occasional clonk on the head (usually delivered by Sergeant Colon by accident). No need to worry about uncomfortable topics - unless you count the smell of the River Ankh, in which case, good luck. So, suit up, bring your best sarcastic retorts, and maybe dodge the fireballs. Just another day in the Watch! Signed: - The Person to Question Lord Vetinari's Policies

Content warnings

Safety tools used

How will character creation work

Important Notice from The Patrician's Office: Dear Watchmen (or soon-to-be Watchmen, depending on how this goes), In a completely planned move (nothing to do with any missing paperwork, honest!), the characters you’ll be playing in your upcoming adventure have been carefully and meticulously pre-generated for you. That’s right - you don’t have to spend hours agonizing over the perfect backstory, or deciding whether your character prefers crossbows or sarcastic remarks as their weapon of choice. Why? Because we know Ankh-Morpork is a city of action, not paperwork. And besides, the city’s already brimming with unique individuals (and we're sure you’ll handle them brilliantly). So instead of building a character from scratch, you’ll be stepping straight into the boots of some of the Disc’s finest - and most interesting - inhabitants. Yes, your character may already have a tragic backstory. Were they raised by sentient turnips? Do they have an irrational fear of libraries? Or maybe they just have a weird obsession with pigeons. Either way, think of it as an opportunity to find out exactly how far "eccentric" can go. You’ll still have plenty of room to shape their destiny, just without the hassle of deciding whether they had a traumatic childhood incident involving a custard pie. In short: characters are ready, and so is the chaos. Your mission, should you accept it (and you will, because Vimes said so), is to jump in, embrace your new role, and see just how bizarrely things can unfold. We trust you’ll be... adequate. Signed: - The Person Succeeding The Last Person to Question Lord Vetinari's Policies (May They Rest in Peace)

Combat / Tactics

Medium

Roleplay

High

Puzzles

Medium

Experience level

Open to all